


Of Stationary & Moving Objects

by puglover



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, M/M, Post-Canon, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 16:37:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puglover/pseuds/puglover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years can change a lot about a person.</p>
<p>For Jou ten years have passed him by. Now he's in Tokyo working two dead end jobs and trying to put his sister thru med school. </p>
<p>For Jou ten years haven't served to change him at all, except to make him a little more tough and a bit bitter on the inside.  </p>
<p>But sometimes you don't need ten years to change a person. Sometimes you only need ten minutes in the rain to make a life changing decision.</p>
<p>Inspired by the A Word A Day Challenge over at Little Dragon</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrogate

**Author's Note:**

> AN: sorry for any mistakes. let me know and i'll try to fix them. First fic posted ever. so be kind. thanks for reading.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Jou didn't think. He just did what his body wanted.
> 
> Arrogate: seize and take control without authority and possibly with force; take as one's right or possession.

Jou sighed softly. 

The rain was coming down harder now. Continuous sheets of freezing water. Pelting the world. Usually he loved the rain, the soothing sound of it hitting his tiny window in his small one room apartment. But being stuck in it was not fun. Didn't even come close to being enjoyable or relaxing in any sort of way at this moment. This sudden down pour was the reason he was stuck shivering under a store awning at 2am.

He sighed again pushing air between his lips hoping each breath out would bring him some small measure of peace and take some small measure of tension away. He looks out into the street. Just as empty now as it was 5 minutes ago when it starting raining. 

The whole situation wouldn't have been so bad except he was in the newer part of the city. All shiny, downtown apartment building condos and the overpriced boutique stores that catered to the residents here. Even if a place was opened he wouldn't have taken shelter in it. He'd just end up irritated by the store keeper giving him the stink eye. 

Another sigh, Jou turns to face the store window whose awning he's taking shelter under. 

It's a stationary store. Lots of shelves brimming with note books and a million varieties of mechanical pencils. They have a big selection from what he can see by the light of the street lamp shining through the window. Maybe he could come back during the day. Perhaps before he started his shift at the bar.

Hopefully the rain will stop soon and he can finish his walk home. Otherwise. He'll have to make the 20 minute walk to his apartment in this rain. Which had already brought the temperature down a few degrees.

He realizes just how tired he is. How bone deep so fucking tired. He feels half asleep already. But he's not going to spend the rest of his night under this damn awning. The sound of metal on metal breaks the silence. 

The garage door next to the stationary shop starts to roll up. The building it's attached too looks nice. Even nicer than most of the ones in this area. Must house even fancier overpriced condos. It takes a moment for Jou's eyes to adjust and realize a pair of head lights coming down the road towards him. 

No, not towards him toward the building, more importantly the now opened driveway. That probably led to indoor parking. Go figure these rich yuppies would have indoor parking as well, bastards. The car's getting closer in a few moments it'll be turning into the driveway. The nice dry looking driveway with warm air wafting from it.

Jou doesn't think, like so many other times in his life.

What he does next is just his body reacting to the promise of something better. He pulls up his hood. Darts out from the shelter of the awning. Straight into the darkness of the garage. The car turns into the garage a moment after he's cleared the entrance and the door roles down behind it. Shutting them both in.

Great now he is trapped for the moment inside some building's tenant parking.

Though it is dry and a whole lot warmer here then it was outside. The car's headlights and a small light near a wall with a sliver elevator are the only lights in the entire space. The car slides into what Jou can only assume is the driver's parking spot. 

The rumble of the engine cuts and for a second Jou is paranoid about the sound of his breathing being too loud in the concert space. There's a soft slam and the sound of footsteps. Quick and sure, the driver must be headed toward the elevators and their apartment. 

Crouched by the side of the garage door. Jou remains where he landed on his mad sprint to get inside the garage. Once the driver leaves Jou can figure how to get out. There should be a master control box for the rolling door on this side. 

The elevator dings, and then dings again. Signaling the driver is gone. Jou lets out a quick half sigh half soft sound of relief. He starts to pull his body up from his crouch 

Everything turns bright. The parking garage's lights flood on all a once. He's blinded by them for a second. 

Once his eyes adjust though they meet a pair of blue ones.

The only sound that is heard is Jou's soft murmur of "oh shit".


	2. Unbolted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly Jou didn’t think. He just did what his body wanted.
> 
> Unbolted: not shifted - not firmly fastened or secured

Just breathe.  
Just breathe.  
Just breathe.  
  
Maybe if he repeats it enough times the instructions will sink into his head and his body will actually do it. At least Jou hopes so. It's not very dignified to be sitting with your head between your knees hyperventilating. Or at least feeling like you are.

Then again he did just get dragged bodily through a parking lot, into an elevator, and thrown into some random person’s apartment.

“Just breathe”

For a moment Jou doesn’t register the husky voice. All he can do is suck in a large lungful of air. Then the moment passes and he lifts his head up to meet a pair of blue eyes.

Damn blue eyes, seems every time he meets this guy all he can see is those fucking blue eyes. They've got too much in them and not enough.

Like they own the whole world and it's their right to gaze upon it however they chose. Yeah every time it always comes back to blue eyes with this guy.

A huff escapes before he can control it. Blue eyes narrow but there is a small smirk on that man's mouth.

“Is something funny Jounouchi?”

Bastard knows Jou wasn't laughing. Jou opens his mouth to say something rude, probably disrespectful and most likely provoking to the man still staring at him with those fucking disconcerting blue eyes.

But then all the fight goes out of him. 

His gaze focuses on the point just above the brunette's shoulder. To stare out the wall to wall, floor to ceiling window. ****Its 3 am this time of night Domino city would be dead. All but the street lights off and everyone except street punks and murderers at home asleep.

Which means regardless of late night work Jou'd still be outside. Never the type to sit at home, never was the type to sit still. Not when he was younger and not now. 

But this isn't Domino, its Tokyo. He isn't 17, he's 27. High school, duel monsters, life and death shadow games, Yugi, his father, Honda, hang out with friends, petty rivalries, and crushes. Those are all people and things in his past, Seto Kaiba included.

His world now is something different, yet not quite so. ****Its bills, night shifts at the bar , part time jobs and working on his motorcycle. ****It’s helping put Shizuka through medical school and making sure the life he's worked so hard to make here doesn't fall apart at the slightest provocation.

Jou refocuses his gaze onto the man standing before him. A person he hasn't seen in 10 years. Someone he never knew, someone he had once wished to know or perhaps just to touch. Jou's eyes are now solemn and tired but there is a small smile on his face.

“No, nothing's funny Kaiba."

 Blue eyes blink at him, "Want to tell me what you were doing crouched in my garage?" 

 Jou finally takes a moment to take all of Kaiba in. A bit taller than he was last.  Rich , dark chestnut hair shorter, cut more stylish. Cropped closer to his scalp. 

He's not wearing the trench coat. In fact he's not wearing any kind of coat at all. Jou thinks this is sad since it looked so good on him when they were younger, if a bit dramatic. But the suit Kaiba is wearing now more than makes up for the lack of coat. It’s one of those expensive things cut to an obscenely close fit. Jou's eyes track the width of Kaiba’s shoulders then the length of his torso. They continue down till he knows the toe shape of Kaiba's shoes,  
round.  Jou can't help but smirk. 

"I missed you..."  Ah there they are, those pretty blues widening. ****Before Kaiba can say anything though. He cuts back in smirk growing  a bit  
"honestly, i diden't  know this was your place. Just want’ed to get outta the rain."    

“You thought that sneaking into a private garage was the best place to do that”  
it’s not a question, it’s a statement of just how colossally stupid of an action Kaiba thinks Jou committed.   
“if it was anyone else they’d have called the cops. I’m not sure i shouldn’t do that anyway.”   

“If I was anyone else you would’ve do it already “

Jou takes a second to pat himself on the back for the quick comeback.  Means he totally hasn’t lost his edge yet.  Another sigh comes to him unbidden, if Kaiba isn’t going to call the police then Jou better head home. 

Back to his small apartment with the small window. It’ll be a long walk; and he hasn’t eaten since 5pm. He should have some left over soup from a few days ago, in his fridge.  Jou blinks, ****Kaiba’s still there looking at him.

“Don’t assume that because we went to the same high school. You’re getting a free pass.”

At this he reaches into his suit’s breast pocket. The cell phone he retrieves is slim, and shiny the kind of new technology that Jou could barely afford by saving up a few months’ pay. 

Maybe Kaiba starts dialing, maybe he’s just checking his reflection in the blank screen. Maybe he’s going to call the police or maybe he’s going to order a late night snack. Or maybe he’ll call some of his always-on-retainer bodyguards to escort Jou out of the building. 

Doesn’t matter what he’s going to do either way. ****Again Jou’s body moves without a thought for the consequences. He just acts, trying to pull the phone from Kaiba’s hand. ****But Kaiba isn’t letting go. ****There is only one reasonable thing to do.

Jou lips were always rough. ****When he was a kid he was always running around playing outside even on the coldest day. Never could sit still, didn’t matter what. After ‘that woman’ and Shizuka moved away, they didn’t have enough money for useless things like chap-stick. Then he had more important things to worry about. What with the gang. ****Yeah Jou lips were always rough his entire life. Every girl and guy he’d ever kissed had always told him so. But Jou didn’t see the point of making that kind of effort for a one-off. ****Soft lips sink ships and all that or something close to it.  
Point was he’d always had rough lips and he’d only ever kissed people with soft lips. 

That tended to not go so stellar. Sensation was muted and they complained a lot. ****But Kaiba’s lips weren’t soft exactly. ****They were firm.  
Though they didn’t move at first. Kind of like kissing a dead fish, which Jou had done on a dare once. 

Then Kaiba’s surprise decided to express itself by opening his mouth. Course kissing an unresponsive person is messy. Kind of unappealing, but the roughness of Kaiba’s lips made him want to stay this way.   
Made him want to try and force Kaiba’s mouth more open. Press inside with his tongue and see if Kiaba’s was just as rough.

On second thought better quit while he’s ahead.

Jou took a step back, Kaiba was standing stock still.  Blue eyes once again wide with horror?    
Just as non-responsive as his lips were. 

Jou’s a street rat; he knows when to run from trouble and when to sucker punch it in the nuts.   
Since he’s metaphorical done the second it’s time to do the first. He turns and runs for the door. It’s only 10 minutes later when he’s half way to his apartment in the still pouring rain. That he realizes he’s still clutching Kaiba’s shiny expensive phone.

   “Oh, shit”.


	3. tub-thumper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Jou takes a second to think. Though is body still dose what it's wants.  
> Tub-thumper: a vociferous supporter (of a cause)

The bar Jou worked at wasn't small.  
It was one of those gimmicky things in the downtown business district. Not as warm or welcoming as a old familiar hole in the wall place. But the pay was hella lot better.  
Nope this wasn't a sticky floor bar. This place was all dark wood paneling and lighting dimmed so low you could barely see a foot in front of you. There was a heavy oak counter. Kinda monstrous in size that served as the bar. It looked like someone’s idea of a retro old American bar. Except the owners weren't in it for the love of serving people and the having of good times. They were in it for money. So the bar was bigger then any retro American bar had a right to be. On any given night it was visited by a mix of office workers coming off a day's work.  
As far as Jou cared nobody had tried to grab his ass, yet.  
He got paid a decent salary plus uh hefty amount in tips by tipsy “business professionals”. It was better then the last place, he'd been a waiter. The hordes of half drunk women and some flirty guys kept trying to proposition him for the night.  
Yeah he knew what the word proposition meant . Just cause he almost flunked outta high school and nevea went to college didn't mean he didn't have a expanded vocabulary. Though the lack of ass grabbing thing here might just be, because he didn't move out from behind the bar. He only made the drinks and served them at the counter and the waitresses ran them to the tables. 

There was one now. Jou perked up as a redhead made her way towards the bar. "Jou I need two rum and cokes please" 

"Sure babe, coming up" 

As he made the drinks Jou took a moment to glance at Suki. She was lean with compact mussels that she got by practicing karate. Jou learned that the hard way. She also had a gorgeous set of lips on her. All wide and puffy that made her smile killer.  
Not like Kaiba's lips those thin rough things. They were so unlike any he'd ever touched. He wanted another go at them this time without the need to flee rushing things... 

Don't think of lips. Jou looks down to see he’s stuffed too much ice into one of the rum and cokes. He gives a sigh, dumps some out and finishes the order.

“here you go babe" 

Suki rushes off to deliver the drink order. Jou reaches into his back pocket to pull out a cell phone. The one he accidentally stole from Kaiba last night. Damn phone, it fits perfectly in his hand. The phone is a thin sliver rectangle. Probably some high tech brushed aluminum composite casing. There is a clear reflective screen. He hasn't even tried to open it. 

In fact he'd forgotten about it after the initial discovery of his theft.  
Would Kaiba want it back?  
Would he be looking for it?  
Why?  
Kaiba could probably get as many high tech phones he wanted. Phone companies would probably have a bidding war on who could pay him the most to carry one of their phones.

Jou stares down at the phone, it's screen blank.  
Maybe he could keep it or maybe he should just chuck it.  
His reflection stares back.

*Bling*

The screen lights up bathing Jou hands in an eerie blue light and telling Jou there is 1 new message on the phone.  
Jou tenses up, he can't help the paranoid thought that runs through his brain. That somehow the sender of the message knows Kaiba is no longer in possession of the phone. That Jou took it.  
What if it’s Kaiba trying to find his phone?  
It’d be better to shut the thing off. Maybe even remove the battery. Don’t the bad guys always get tracked by the gps in their victims phones. 

Wait he didn't kill anyone. No reason for the police to track the phone.  
Would Kaiba's even have something like that?  
Or one of those "find my phone” apps?  
Would Kaiba even have a “find my phone” app?  
Seems a bit … like something only high school girls and obnoxious people had. Well obnoxious is right up Kaiba’s ally . Yeah, Jou should smash the phone right away and dump it. But he would need too.....*Bling*

Jou's runaway train of thought is brought to an abrupt stop. A preview of the message just sent shows up on the screen.

[Jounouchi , I know you have my phone] 

*Bling*

[Return it]

He couldn’t help tensing up before, now Jou’s whole body freezes. But the return of his previous panic is cut off. Suki comes up to the bar.

"Jou, I need five cosmopolitans. There is a gaggle of office ladies that just came in." 

He looks up distracted and shoves the phone back into his pocket. "Sure, coming up."

As he makes the drinks Jou tries to think things through. Obviously Kaiba knows he took the phone. But that doesn’t mean Jou was planning on keeping the damm thing. He’d just forgotten about it. He could return it, maybe drop it off with Kaiba’s receptionist.  
No.  
No way in hell was he walking into the Tokyo Kaiba Corp building. The security guards probably wouldn’t even let him in the front door. Maybe, he could mail it to Kaiba. 

Yeah that's a great plan and have it get inadvertently damaged in the process. The mail carriers didn’t always handle their packages with care. He should know after all when he first moved to Tokyo he'd gotten a job as one. Those were some of the worst eight months of his life.  
No, mailing it wasn't an option.  
Maybe he could just go back to the apartment and drop it off. Didn’t even have to see Kaiba just place the phone in his mail box. Plus the apartment was on his way home from work. Yeah that would end this thing nice and neat. Without anyone being arrested. Should he let Kaiba know he’s returning the phone? Couldn’t hurt and this way Kaiba would know to look for it.

As he hands Suki the finished drinks, Jou reaches into his pocket and pulls out the phone. He tapes the screen. It prompts him to enter a eight digit password.  
What could Kaiba's password be?  
Usually people put important numbers like their loved ones birthday or a meaningful date. Maybe Mokuba’s birthday? But Kaiba isn’t most people. The head of a multimillion dollar toy and technology company isn’t going to have that easy of a password. Still, couldn’t hurt to try right. 

Jou types out {07071985} and instead of being met with red letters and an incorrect password message the phone unlocks with another annoying 

*Bling* 

The background is a plain gray and there aren’t any icons on the phone. Just the standard display of time and reception on the top corners.  
Jou has a crappy phone. He loves it cause Sazuka went with him to the store and helped him pick it out. But that doesn’t mean he’s blind to just how shitty it is. It dosen't even have a password lock. Considering it’s pushing six years old now and he's dropped it in some very unsavory substances in that time. Jou's just happy the thing isn’t dead. But he's played around on other people's phones. So he knows enough to poke at Kaiba's cell till the menu appears and find the messaging feature. 

The only messages there are from Mokuba and an unknown number listed. The phone hadn’t shown who sent the message Jou saw. Kaiba would probably try to do him great harm. Or at lest get his panties in a twist if he found out Jou had been looking at private messages from Mokuba so he taps on the unknown number. The messages from before appear.

Now what to write Kaiba? 

[if you want it come and get it]


	4. Oppugun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seto takes a moment to breath but just a moment.
> 
> Word: oppugun - to fight against - call into question

Seto stares at the screen of his temporary phone. The words on it not changing no matter how long he looks. 

[If you want it come and get it]

He has built programs in pure code, without the use of a compiler. Has drawn up and executed business plans in less than 48 hours. He conceived and built an adventure land theme park based entirely on dual monsters. He ran a business while in high school. Hell he has done more in 29 years then most people do in a life time. That's not even counting all the weird shit he handled with Yugi and Pegasus. 

A simple text from a person he hasn't seen in ten years. That shouldn't leave him staring at the phone for even one minute lest five .

Seto slowly and deliberately closes his eyes. Tries to refocus on the task at hand before his concentration broke. 

*Bling* 

He looks down at the phone. Another message appears on the screen.

[Can't leave work, seriously come to 82 ale house 1f Akasaka, Minato, Tokyo 107-0052 i'll leave it behind the bar] 

An image runs through Seto's mind.

Seto takes a moment to breath but just a moment. 

An image runs through Seto's mind.

His phone being pushed into a corner while cheap alcohol is splashed onto it,

repeatedly. 

Though it's water proof, he still shudders at the thought of his beautiful not-yet-on-the-market phone coming back to him sticky and smelling like beer. That alone prompts him to fire out a message.

{No. Keep it on you at all times. If I find it damaged you're going to pay for its replacement} 

He can feel a headache, slowly unfurl behind his left eye. Just a soft almost gentle throb. A half hour drive, actually one hour in traffic. To some bar in Minato was not how he planned his one night off to go. 

One last slow exhale. He taps out one more message. 

{I'll be there 10pm.}

Now it's done he can go back to work and he dose. The better to prevent all the circling vultures he calls project mangers from pecking his eyes out at the update meeting in two hours. 

It's the last fully productive day he has in a long time. 

After the meeting tonight part of Seto will always be thinking about Jou. About how ; who they are now, who they were and what they became changed overnight.


	5. Pippin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: just in case, if it's unclear this chapter skips over the meeting mentioned at the end of chapter 4.
> 
> Seto finds his childhood lurking inside Jou's mouth. 
> 
> Word: pippin - 1: a crisp tart apple having usually yellow or greenish-yellow skin strongly flushed with red and used especially for cooking / 2 : a highly admired or very admirable person or thing

Jou tastes like apples, crisp tart apples.

Sour and a little sweet, like apple flavored bubble gum. 

He's reminded of Mokuba and the orphanage where they were younger and at the mercy of adults. They were given treats for good behavior. He'd do things to earn them for Moki. Help clean up after the younger kids, take on more chores. So much work, to get pieces of apple flavored bubble gum. Back then he would have done anything to give Moki a small bit of happiness, still would. But Mokuba doesn’t need him as much now. Not for getting bubblegum at lest. 

Jou tastes like apples. 

Like the happiest moments of his darkest times. When his whole world was threatening to fall apart. 

The flavor is intoxicating to Seto, even with his childhood memories being slowly tainted by this weird cross association of the flavor. Maybe because of it. 

Jou's breath is hot, the small apartment he calls home, more of a shit hole than not. It's stuffy, Seto can't breath. Not with Jou's hot exhales disrupting his every inhale. A bolt of heat travels down his spine as his lips close over Jou's again. 

Seto pulls his head back taking in gulps of stale muggy air. Jou still tastes sweet. Despite the heat he buries his face in Jou's collar bone. Salt explodes on his tongue. The heat around him intensifies. Seto's buried seven inches in and the only sounds coming from Jou is wheezing pants and puffed exhales. 

Jou's fingers dig into his back, grubby and clutching. His short uneven nails scrapping skin off. 

Leaving marks. 

Jou's lips press in below Seto's ear. Every breath brushing against his skin, ruffling the short hairs on the nape of his neck. Jou's breath smells like apples.

His hands are slick with Jou's sweat as they hold on to his thighs. Seto couldn't let go now even if he wanted. Jou has proven unexpectedly flexible. One leg wrapped around Seto's waist ankle digging into his back. As Seto holds his thigh. The other leg folded up and flung over Seto's shoulder. Seto didn't know how to react. Where to place his other hand. Until Jou took it and placed it on his bent leg. Making Seto clutch Jou's thigh closer to his chest. 

Jou's breath is still brushing his neck. He pulls back bodily. 

“ahh”

Their both wrecked, he doesn’t know who made that sound. Jou's eyes are gold in the dim light. His mouth is curled slightly down parting as he gulps in air. 

“Move to the... the floor, could go faster”

Seto adjusts his grip trying to peel their bodies apart. It feels as if they're glued to each other. 

“my knees, on my knees works........” Seto slams back home mashing their bodies back together. “... …..good” 

It helped hold him together. Knowing he could provide. 

Knowing that he could make Moki's world better , happier even for just a moment. Because for a moment Moki's world would shrink to the size of a piece of gum. Nothing else would matter as much in that moment. Seto would be the one who caused that.

It's like that now.

The way Jou's looking at him like his world has shrunk to just Seto and what he's doing to Jou. 

He needs to be the center of Jou's world 

“Look at me” . 

Every inch of their skin is sticking together. Jou's whispers into Seto's lips 

“here, right here's fine”. 


	6. Demarcate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jou doesn’t look for his limits but they find him anyway. 
> 
> Word: demarcate - : to fix or define the limits of : delimit / 2 : to set apart : distinguish
> 
> Notes with warnings and chapter spoilers at end.

What was he thinking? 

It doesn’t even take a moment for a hot flash of anger to travel down Jou’s spine.

Jou has this thing. Where he can't get his brain to just shut up even in the most inappropriate situations. It's weird because he's a creature of action. Most times his body just dose what it wants without consulting his brain. 

Like now, he's trying to find a way to just shut his brain up so he can enjoy the situation he's in. 

Though he's still not sure how he ended up in this position. 

Naked back pressed up against the cold glass door of the apartment's balcony. 

Though to call it a balcony is like calling a puddle an ocean. 

Doesn't matter what you call it though. Because right now all he cares about is the teeth on his neck and nothing else.

Just wants to focus on the only cool point of contact his has. As the rest of him feels like he's burning from the inside out.

Only wants to know the fact that his back is being pressed into a glass door because Seto Kaiba is eagerly pushing his body there. 

He can't help but wheeze, body unable to keep it's breath in rhythm with everything going on. 

Jou only wants to think bout how his fingers are digging into Kaiba's back. How that unable to find purchase those fingers get dragged up and down Kaiba's back leaving red marks. 

Long deep scratches, that by the end of the night will well up with blood. 

All he wants to think is bout how his hands are slick from Kaiba's sweaty back. About how his hips have begun to ache from the position he's in. His thighs will begin to tremble in another five minutes or so.

Kaiba's lips are pressed into the hollow of his throat and his teeth are scrapping skin off him as Kaiba mauls him. 

But even with the sensory overload Jou's brain won't shut up. 

It keeps spinning out in lazy circles. Drifting from one random moment of his life to another.

Like Kaiba pounding into him isn't enough. His mind can't just enjoy it.

Because even in this moment all he can think about is what it feels like to drown. 

Have you ever tried to pretend to be someone your not. Not in the sense of pretending for a minute or an hour or a whole night. But for a year or two or ten.

Jou's been pretending for so long. Nah, that's a cliche, the truth, the truth... he wishes he even knew what that was anymore. 

The truth inside his head and heart is : that when you pretend for real it starts to become real. The lies begin to bleed truths and before you know it "fake it till you make" it leaves you a bloody amalgamous mess of a person. Cause when you pretend in the real world you don't even know your doing it. The way he lies with a smile and a wink and …uh ....and .....uh lie of a lie that he'll just pretend for a little bit . Pretend what? 

That he's not depressed. That he's not hurt that Yugi and Honda chose another path.

But he's not, not really. You know the whole "fake it till you make it" excuse. It's working for him. Except Jou never made it. He's been running on for ten years now. First it was to get away from Domino cause if he was there he'd be in the same place he always was. And... and.. uh .....that would be nowhere.... then it was other people. No it wasn't other people. It was Yugi and Honda and even Tea. They seemed to move forward. Better yet they seem to know how to move forward. When you pretend : you feel ok, you feel that maybe the world won't come crashing down because it's just pretend. But then you end up trapped in the lie. The noose starts closing in tighter around your neck and be.....before you..uu know it your enn….ending up stuck in a job you hate cause you lied about not wanting to go anywhere. 

No. 

It's not that pathetic. He tried, he tried for his sister. He fought for her. Hell he almost died for her. Lying, pretending: it's a lot like drowning. Sometimes he thinks he's back in the bay gently floating down to the bottom. But there anit nuthing gentle bout drowning. Not ah damm thing easy bout lo….losing all the air from your lungs and having the your whole world set on fire. All your body burning from the in....inside out for air. Some days he thinks about drowning and he wonders if it would have been better for her if he had drowned. Not that she'd be happier if he hadn't lived but that maybe in having lived, in claiming her as his reason to live he's taken something from her. A choice perhaps to just be a irresponsible girl.... 

“ahh”. 

Urgh maybe that's all bull crap. 

 

Some days he thinks of that time in the bay. Thinks of drowning not that's it was peaceful. But that life his life feels like it a lot of the time especially last ….lately . The air stuck in his throat with nowhere to go and if he opens his mouth nothing will remain of hi..him. Sometimes he thinks he never got his head dragged above water , that he's still down there drowning thinking that the ... others ….. thinking that the only thing he's gotta live for is her. That if she wasn't there waiting for him. He'dve just have stayed under the water. Opened up his mouth and let..... 

Pleasure shoots through him , Jou realizes he's been staring into Kabis eyes. The blue reminds him of the water in the bay . Same twisting shades. Same color . It's hard for him to breath. He's gulping in air , hmmmm, fucking Kaiba reminds Jou of drowning. There is a bit of vertigo as Kaiba turns him around. He's feeling a bit like a dead fish but his cock is pointing up and really Kaiba doing most of the work here , Jou's ok with that. Kaiba's kisses don't burn . They are not fairy tale kisses or smuty porn kisses .

He's not a virgin and this ain't the holy grail of all fucks. It two guys touching each other. The way two people desperate to destroy something touch . The way somebody so fucking frustrated with the world and life and themselves touches another person. It's all jealous and possessive. Kaiba's hands are grabby and press too tight against his skin. Wanting to ripe the him apart and press him together again from one breath to the next. 

Jou breath comes out heavy. All he can feel besides the oppressive heat of his apartment. Is Kaiba behind him trying to stake his claim with hands, and teeth , and tongue , and lips, fingers digging into every inch of skin available. Jou's half sure it's not an owning thing but a power thing. The ability to freely do whatever you wish to another human being over and over . It's all callous touches, not a soft whisper in sight. Kaiba for all his elegance and suppose charm in business. Jou's reassured to find is just as much of a dog about sex as the next person. All grunts and mouth breathing . 

That is when his mouth disengages from skin long enough to breath . No pleasant sighs anywhere in this fucking room. The sounds inside Jou's small one room apartment aren't pretty. For a moment he focuses on what's outside the glass door. The balcony with it's laundry line hanging from one side of the railing to the other. Fluttering lazily in a pitiful breeze. Jou's reflection in pane of glass caught between these two worlds.

 

....Jou always heard he looked like his dad. Everyone always mistook them for each other. Or pretended too . When he was young before his sister was taken and his mom stopped loving them. He use to love the fact he looked like his dad. Use to love that connection. To be able to say how close he was to his father. But nothing lasts, an accident at the site and dad couldn't work anymore , mom didn't like …... 

Kaiba pulls his hair turning his head to the side. Teeth attach to the nape of his neck the bite stings. Kaiba's hand is still tugging his head to the side. He can feel slight pain radiate through his skull. Catches a sight of blue from the corner of his eye before gold strands obscure his vision..... 

His father has blonde locks with a slight curl. They're shiny and bouncy and his mom use to say that's the reason she married him . That he looked like an angel . A half foreign father will do that to your dna. Make you look like an angel but only half. The other half isn't angel. After the accident it didn't matter how blonde or bouncy his fathers curls were. All that mattered was that he drank. He use to drink before but booze and pills are a deadly combo. Makes you forget the whole world. Every trouble you ever had. Makes the whole world better. Except for the one you live in. His mom always joked that she was his dad's better half. The better of the two, the one worth more, that she was the one who settled. Seems behind the jokes and all the pretending there was a grain of truth. She decide he wasn't worth settling for anymore and she left taking Jou's whole world away with her. Maybe, ever since he...he...he …. he hates that he looks like his father. Hates that every time he looks in the mirror he sees more and more of his father staring back. 

 

For every person who said uh praising or envious word about his looks there were twenty more assholes who had something stupid to say. But that didn't hurt . Didn't ever cut as deep as when he his mom came to drop Sazuka off for collage and said how much like him he looks. Like him in the good old days. How handsome , that bitch... that awful... awful bitch. 

Worse is the thought , all he has to do to complete the splitting image is take a drink and swing some pills. Imaging being so dam afraid you never take nothing for pain. When he was working construction the time he wretched shoulder. Not even take an aspirin for a headache that's how fucking terrified he is that if he starts down that road he'll never stop. He smoked a bit. As against self medicating as he is. Smoked a whole lot but running with Hirutani taught him being high and trying to win a knife fight never works out well. 

He started only smoking on good days. After Hirutani or during? he forgets. Days when he had nothing to do , he got high. But Yugi put a stop to that either get high in front of him and have to explain or find time in between all the insanity that was their friendship to do it. It was ok though, even dealing with all the insanity , the having a friend part was good. Not that Honda wasn't a friend but he was a rock solid friend the kind you don't want to unload to much crap on . Cause you know they will take up whatever fight your fighting . He'd want to help carry all Jou's baggage. Yugi was surprisingly the other kind. They didn't grow up together but Jou could share all the horrible shit in his life. Yugi happened to be really genuinely honestly kind. But never said a word about himself. 

 

A sharp pain rocks Jou back to himself. Hands planted on the sliding glass door his apartment. He's facing the glass, hands planted shoulders withe apart trying to get some purchase, some ground to push against. But having Seto Kiaba's dick ramming into you doesn't leave a guy with a whole lot coordination. And really when did that happen. Seriously Jou's brain wouldn't shut the fuck up for even a minute. 

Suddenly Kaiba withdraws and Jou's being turn around yet again. Kaiba doesn't say a word but the look in his eyes . Lets Jou know , that he knows Jou hasn't been paying attention and that's not acceptable. Now Jou really is a dead fish. But it doesn't last. Kaiba has his hand on Jou thighs . He brings them up to lock around his waist and before Jou figures out what'll happen Kaiba's slamming back home into his body like he belongs there. For a second there is a frisson of pleasure so strong it paralyzes Jou and leaves him frozen. 

 

Then the angle changes and Kaiba leverages into him more. Jou's back is having an intimate meeting with the glass door. Good, he really hopes it can hold up with all the nights activities. Kaiba's hands are now more secure. Jou isn't going anywhere lest into his own head again. 

 

“Move to the... the floor, could go faster”

In one too fucking smooth to believe move . Kaiba turns them around and sinks to the floor gives Jou a good view of the under side and his couch and generates some rug burn. Seriously how dose 'sits in an office all day Kaiba' have the upper body strength to pull this move off. Jou works construction he has a decent amount of upper body strength but right now . He can barely lift his own weight , it feels as if they're glued to each other. The angle gets awkward again “my knees, on my knees works.....bet....er” 

Kaiba doesn't peel them apart as told. He changes the angle presses Jou further into the floor lifts his hips higher . Bends Jou's already abused and sore leg further to impossible lengths and “... …..better” 

 

“Look at me” 

Gold meets blue , or is it he's looking back into the deep end of the bay. It's hard to tell now. Once Kaiba's satisfied that he has Jou's attention , he makes a huffing noise like Kaiba really shouldn't of had to go through all that trouble . 

 Jou just..... yeah , he finally feels like his on solid ground. 

“here, right here's fine”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: somewhat graphic descriptions of drowning. Very "stream of consciousness" , intentional bad spelling (let me know how annoying it is?) .  
> Mixed prospective : Jou keeps jumping from being present in the moment and getting lost in his own head. He also loses some time in between.  
> If it's too confusing. Feedback on how to improve is welcome.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy.


End file.
